Career Conversations Are Acts of Love

When I think about love at work, one memory shines brightest: a career conversation with my boss, Tony.

Going back to the start 

I met Tony in 2004, fresh out of university, as a graduate in his employment law team. He was the kind of lawyer who truly loved the profession—so much that he’d read legislation for leisure. Tony was a man of many strengths: a devoted husband and father, a person of faith, and someone who approached work with tireless dedication and a quirky sense of humour. But what set Tony apart wasn’t just his passion for law; it was the way he cared for people.

From the start, Tony made me feel seen. He wanted to know my story—how I arrived in Australia, what I had overcome, my family, my life. He cared for me as a person first and a lawyer second.

My heart wasn't in it 

But while Tony loved law, I didn’t. I struggled with the feeling that being a lawyer required all my weaknesses and none of my strengths. It took courage, but I eventually confessed to Tony that I was thinking about leaving law altogether. Many colleagues warned me against it, saying he might freeze me out—code in law firms for sidelining people until they’re managed out. But I trusted Tony.
When I told him, I could see he didn’t understand. How could someone not love law as much as he did? But instead of dismissing my feelings, Tony helped in the way he could. He secured a secondment for me as an HR Manager at one of our clients, giving me a chance to explore a new career path without having to immediately resign.

Once you see, you can't unsee

That secondment changed everything. For the first time, I experienced the energy and joy that comes from working to my strengths—connecting with people, coaching, and building relationships. It confirmed what I’d always suspected: my future wasn’t in law.

When the secondment ended, I was ready to resign. I’d been offered a job as a Television Researcher at the ABC, and while it wasn’t a perfect fit, I knew it was better than returning to legal work. I called Tony to share my decision, expecting a quick conversation.

A conversation as an act of love 

But Tony didn’t rush. He paused his busy schedule, setting aside billable work to focus entirely on me. For the next hour, he listened intently, asked thoughtful questions, and challenged my reasoning. He wasn’t trying to change my mind—he was helping me clarify it. In hindsight, I now see that Tony was coaching me.

That conversation reminded me of what I truly loved: people, learning, and their potential. Before we ended the conversation, Tony made me promise to explore opportunities in learning and development at the firm before resigning. That promise led me to a meeting with another incredible mentor (Nicola Atkinson who featured in my first newsletter), and soon, I found myself thriving in a dual role as a part-time L&D consultant and Television Researcher.

Tony was right to help me think twice 

Ultimately, I realised that television wasn’t for me, but L&D was where I belonged. And I wouldn’t have discovered it without Tony’s care and guidance.

Tony's legacy lives on - in me and many many others 

Tony passed away in 2012 after battling cancer, but his legacy lives on in the lives he touched—including mine. His willingness to prioritise me in that moment, to care deeply, and to guide me with love shaped not just my career but my belief in what true leadership looks like.

Career conversations, when done with care, are acts of love. Thank you, Tony, for seeing me, listening to me, and leading with love.

Love in action at work

If you are inspired by my work love story and Tony's example, below are three things you can do including practical tips to foster meaningful career conversations at work.

1. Show genuine interest in the whole person – Research shows that employees who feel their manager cares about their personal and professional growth are more engaged and loyal. Gallup's research highlights that mangers account for 70% of variance in team engagement, often tied to how much they 'see' their employees.

2. Create a safe space for honest conversations – Psychological safety - the belief that one can speak up without fear of negative consequences - is foundational to authentic career conversations. Research by Amy Edmondson at Harvard shows that teams with high psychological safety perform better and innovate more. Be proactive in offering secondments, cross-functional projects, or job shadowing to make transitions feel less risky and more supported.

3. Be a coach, not just a boss – The shift from traditional management to coaching improves employee performance, satisfaction, and retention. A study by Deloitte found that organisations with coaching cultures report higher levels of employee engagement and innovation. Focus on listening more than solving. Use frameworks like the GROW Model (Goal, Reality, Options, Way Forward) to guide the conversation without dictating the outcome. And it this is inspiring you; I highly recommend you read or listen to 'The Coaching Habit' by Michael Bungay Stanier.

Career conversations don't have to be daunting. By showing interest, creating safety, and adopting a coaching mindset, you can transform these conversations into meaningful 'care-versations' that build trust, unlock potential, and demonstrate love at work.